American JUSTICE is real! And I’m a Rock Star Police Dog wiff millions of tons of bacon! Haaaaa Haaaar HARF!
I got a Summons for Jury Duty. I love how they threaten me with all kinds of punishment if I simply tell them to go fuck themselves… And they make it SO TEMPTING by offering me $10/day (Inflation?? What inflation?) !!!! And dey don’t even provide lunch… NO BACON ANYWHERE. When it costs ME $250 simply to FILE for a Guardianship of my elder, vulnerable parents— just THAT document, PER PARENT. All the other stuff costs, too. What a giant RACKET, and dis ain’t tennis, my poogies, I donut GET a racket of my own. And DEN, they could just appoint some “officer of the corpse” to rule over my folks and doo whatever dey WANT. Ewwwww.
Hell, no. How could I trush them???????? I asp you.
If/when I yam called to go and be inspected, I want to have some carefully selected STANK to offer them as a reason for choosing this dog to have to pretend to believe in the charade (I carn’t pretend dis and not snarl). NO, I have NO faith in any US “justice” system, NONE. Donut ask me why, because if you donut know by now, I mite not wanna have to read your stupid question at all, lest my eyeballs fall out and I have to chase them, blind. I might have to leave some protest in your shooz. I might have to bury your keys in my back yard. I might have to send hoards of raccoons to infiltrate your home, your car, your life… Oh, nebber mind, raccoons donut like me, anyway.
So when they question me I mush have some poison darts to woof back. What do you fink of mai answers? This is a tesla, this is only a tesla. If dis were a REAL tesla, I’d be outta here by now.
Q: How do you feel about attorneys? A: FUCK (barked loudly) attorneys, dey are moose dingleberries wiff corn kernels. Q: How do you feel about judges? A: FUCK (barked loudly) judges, dey are elephant dingleberries who are tot to fink dey are DOG ALMIGHTY, but dat cannot be so, since dey start out as ATTORNEYS. Q: Do you believe wrongdoing should be punished? A: HELL, no, not if it's by the Chewdicial System. Q: Should a murderer be put to deaf? A: If dat is a Sirius Question, how come our govt. is ALIVE? Q: Do you fink Rule of Law is a good system? A: Yesh, but it donut exist in our reality, so-- YORE Rule of Law? HELL, no.
A friend received 'notice' of jury duty, and due to his comprehension that said 'notice' was in fact an offer to contract (with piddling amounts offered), he made a counteroffer with amounts demanded worthy of his time and woofing.
No further correspondence was received, not even a bone.
Woof, woof, as they say.
I wanna arsk a stoopit question just to watch you run around blind trying to catch them eyeballs when dey pop out! 🤣🤣🤣🤣
What a mental image you created for me there, Jaan. 😳 ❤️