It’s pretty OLD poems today, but dey keep being relevant! For this, I yam grateful— becuz I lost ‘em, and den found ‘em day before yesterday, all my tribbles seemed so far away. Finking of tribbles…
The job search continues, and I’m standing on top of my dog house, shouting, “Hep, hep!” I have a great Rachel who doesn’t mind my tail knocking stuff arf her desk! So, that in mind, I continue to OM for everybuddy, even mai brudders. Now here’s dat old, old, old poem…
Phoenix I fall out of an indigo sky Like a broken bird, traumatized I plummet Head, heels, head, heels Twisting, turning, upside down I am alive The rushing wind is the Life Force Filling me, at last And the void I create in the ground Can hold the Seven Seas I rise and the Earth trembles I rise and I tower above the hole I make canyons Wonders for wide eyes Resplendent cliffs, gorges, valleys With love and gratitude I create them for you But they are soon forgotten As I begin again my ascent To the highest of peaks in the indigo sky. --Jaan Carter, 1996
Okay, no, I didn’t change anything, tho maybe I otter…
Awright, dis poem, just as owled… It was on the back of the Phoenix one.
My Waking Dream
In my waking dream
Mother Ocean calms me
Down, down, down
Into the cold grey waters
To hear the secrets of the depths
(Without this peril I flounder,
Wash up on the shore like a gasping gar)
So down I go with one breath
To hear the whispers meant for me
Hearing them, I meet myself
Inside my car in the rain
The defroster is stuck just where it has to be
I could be the only one alive tonight
The streetlights shimmer, distorted by drops of cloud
I splash through the darkness, high on the storm
Windshield wipers show the way home
But I drive on, on
Standing at the sink
I gulp down the water, poured through a filter
It runs down my chin, silky and alive
I can't get enough of it
It pours through every memory
Every thought or vision of you
I hold my breath
My sweat is salty and irresistable
My sweat, my blood, are in everything I do,
Everything I feel
I lick the salt off my lips.
--Jaan Carter, date unknown, butt a long time ago.
And FURthermore:
NOT having a functional computer at home (and not having a job [but got some nibbling going on now!]) really is weird after having one at my beck and call since what, 2013? My time is different now, at home. It’s quieter. I watch movies and episodes of TV shows that I check out from the library. I read books. I sometimes re-read books, the ones I can’t remember all the stuff I want to, like history books.
But I need to get online, because I HAVE to, to job hunt, to post on Substack, to look at email… I go to the library, where I get at most two hours… Not enough time. Now I can come to a place where I’m getting county assistance from a really nice and cool gal who enjoys helping people.
And I go for walkies, too. Great, and I am acutely aware that there are:
No public restrooms, hardly (inside the library, yeah).
No pay phones
No other online access except in libraries, and county job search help sorts of places (not very many of those, and not open ALL the time, either).
Everybody has a cell phone, and they’re ALL staring at them, even when driving, even when walking a dog, or walking with others
People are seemingly talking to themselves, but they have a Blue Tooth, usually. (Hey, I donut want to hear your conversations, humans!!)
All this is par these days, but I remember when it was not like this, when we used to sit and look at the scenery, talk to each other, watch kids playing or people walking by…Nobody was staring down at something in their hand… It’s like being in a weird sci-fi movie nowadays, wiff zombies. I don’t WANT to be “used to it.” I liked it better before. Not to mention the fact that we weren’t being quite so heavily toasted by all the EMF’s required for all this “convenience.” The entire country is now hooked on cell phones— a lot of JUNKIES, yeah. The Chinese were opium addicts, but at least they were looking at their own visions, in their heads.
cell phones are a poison. yesterday 2 people came to visit, about half an hour, and one had 3 phone calls while here. This week so far, I had 3 calls in all ! I used to be a phone operator in a former life LOL, and now I hate phones. Specially cell phones. I got one that only goes with me on long strips without houses, if there are houses within walking distance it stays home! Good luck with the job hunt. You might end up like me cleaning houses
Those poems from a different planet, a slower pace and a greater appreciation of the natural made me nostalgic too.... I watched the window cleaner, with his face glued to his iPhone screen, the other day. Fag in his mouth, phone in his left hand, window washing pole in the other.... He does the flat above mine and the water runs down the whole building, all done in a jiffy. My eyesight is getting poor so at least I can't see the smudges and missed bits any more. Aging has some advantages, I spose!