I’m the kind of dog that edits street signs and menus, and I am hereby officially opening my Editor’s Doggie Door: Top Dog Proofreading, a subsidiary (heh-heh-woof!) of Word Herder Enterprises.
NEED A PROOFREADER/EDITOR? I AM OPEN FOR BIZ. JUST WHISTLE!
I’ve just been sorting through a lot of old letters, cards, and photos and purging a bunch of it, because I’m really trying to pare down, in case I have to live in my car. Plus, I am taking great pleasure in trashing photos of my traitor brothers. And it’s been an interesting journey, on many levels, reading through old greeting cards and stuff, but I have realized that I’ve lost my edge a bit since I was in my twenties, I’ve gotten a bit too polite, I think.
So: I’m on a mission to use more profanity, fuckin’ A.
I did recycle a lot of things that I thought, long ago, I might want to read when I’m old… Fuck that, y’know. I’m not going to be mooning over my youth when I’m old, I’m going to be outdoors, with my dogs, flipping the bird to any fascists who might come around. Well, somebody’s got to do it, and I vote that old ladies are the best in that job. Here’s my evidence, right here.
I hear the garbage truck outside, and I am seized with an urge to run out there and bark insanely just out of reach of the garbage man— In the trade, we call that “Telling ‘Em What For.” Oh, bless him, he’s got a job, doesn’t he?!?! I’m nearly to the point of applying myself, but my sense of smell is so intensely acute, I’m sure I wouldn’t last a day… FIRED, for rolling in it! So I’m willing to do the next best thing, and that is, to take in other people’s writing and fix it. HA HA, if you’re a writer, I hereby smite thee with naughty dog insults! I double-dog dare you to just try and leash this pooge.
I shall rise up on my hind legs, put on my Human Suit, and barge into various businesses and offer to do my business…
Oh, and I finally heard from the tutoring company I applied to months ago… I have a potential student!! Joy! The pay is good, and I’m the only one in their list that lives around here, so maybe things can build up… At least I gotta wee job!! And I might still find me an attorney that will kick my psycho brother’s ass for defaming me… Cut off his tail and bob his ears!! I need a pit bull litigator, a butt-biting bitch—like me! Bwa ha ah aha haaaaaa— woof!
I'm with you, fuck'em all!!!
Although maybe that's wishing them some pleasure. Oh, I'm sooo confused!
I have this rather insane belief in the inherent good of others. As if somehow love and understanding can heal.
And partly I know this to be truth, but some are so hellbent on being destructive it's best to get out of their way. Maybe they'll roll themselves over in the end, although likely not.
Argh and woof woof!!!
"Fuck em" is how I'm rolling these days!! Woof Woof let 'em rip and trip I hope you step in shit Jaan, you are truly clever brilliant and talented !! <3