This is something I want to put “out there,” should something happen to me, and in case my younger brother (I’ll call him MJC here) kills me. Maybe because jobs in my town are mostly Arby’s cashiers, and mostly minimum wage; or maybe because I have a big mouth— always have, probably always will, when it comes to BULLSHIT, it appears that much of what I post, about Covid, about American hegemony and fuckery in general, is “out there” on search engines, I am really struggling to find work. I did get a little gig as a tutor, so I hope that works out and a bit more comes along… Even if we are heading for GIANT ECONOMIC DOOM. But that is coming, and my landlords really don’t see it, don’t get any of our current mess, and are “really upset” with me, I guess for not begging in front of the Safeway with a coffee can and a scraggly-looking dog. (Wait, I’ll take the dog!)
I left my own thriving business in CA, all my friends and professional network and my home of 25 years to move near my folks, to be there for them when they needed care (my brothers say because I wanted to control our parents and their money… The MONEY keeps coming into this thing… hmmmmm.). I was trying to do the right thing. I almost regret that now— learning to not to try and help before I am ASKED for help is one of my Life Lessons. Anyway, I moved to a town that has very, very few decent jobs, and I trained in a shit-paying, high-stigma job (caregiving) so I would know how to do it well, and because I don’t want my folks in a facility, nor do I want some stranger in their house instead of me, and that’s what they want, too.
My brothers colluded against me, tricked me, and betrayed me, using distortions, twists of things I said, and outright lies, a lot of lies. A lot of imagined “plans” and “intentions.” It’s almost as if my brothers know what I’m doing at all times, AND can read my mind, sort of like what Klown Schwab has in mind for all of us.
I want to just have a record, and this is the story. I apologize for this being so personal (and long) and not really applicable to probably very many of you, but I have no other real voice, since to play the game of the American Justice System, one has to have money. I can’t afford an attorney, and I STILL haven’t received my Income Tax Refund. I probably never will… Whatever. Sigh.
These are the things I’d like to have on record “out there” as a kind of insurance that if something should happen to me, something unnatural, something nefarious, like siblingcide, or a mysterious “accident,” (I ain’t jabbed, so it won’t be that) I want the facts surrounding this nastiness to be recorded somewhere. I’m also kind of hoping that a kick-ass litigator who can afford to work pro bono will somehow see this… I am sorry if all this bores you, but this is the only protection, so to speak, I can think of that doesn’t cost a shitload of money I don’t have. Maybe it will be a little instructive if and when the specter of an inheritance comes along— because siblings can turn on you like rabid jackals.
My Elder Parents Need Care In The Home.
My parents are on each side of the age of 90. My mother has some memory issues, my father is diagnosed with dementia, which is not severe, but does affect his daily life. Right now, my brother, the pathological one, lives with my folks, ostensibly because he is “disabled,” and he has done for the past 12 or so years. Lately, after accusing me of all kinds of horrors I have planned for my parents, and their money, he has become suddenly much more helpful to them, which is to say, he is now making an effort to do some things he’s never bothered with before my recent Burning At The Stake in family court.
My Brothers Have Lied and Distorted Facts To Smear Me
My brother MJC created a “questionnaire” for my parents, extremely slanted, to use the judge’s word, and clearly worded to extract a desired response from each parent, both of whom are at least somewhat open to manipulation, especially from one of their own children. My brother handed this filled-out questionnaire to each of my parents as we sat down to begin the hearing. The judge disallowed this questionnaire to be used in my mother’s hearing (MJC had not even filed it) and scolded MJC quite sternly for presenting it at that time, saying it looked like manipulation (I had not received this document as is required). Instead the judge used an email I wrote, to JFC, my elder brother (who tricked and betrayed me with it— his concerns also orbited around my parents’ money—). But the judge used my email to point out how reasonable and understandable my concerns were; the judge compared my concerns to his own concerns about his own mother, AND THEN HE DISMISSED THE CASE.
The Same Judge Did A Complete Turnaround…
A week later, we had the same kind of hearing regarding my father. My brother did the SAME thing as before, except this time he’d filed the questionnaire previously. But again, he handed it out to both parents as we began the hearing. He was again scolded sternly by the judge for having them fill out this SAME questionnaire, which played directly to their fears, and which exaggerated and misrepresented my concerns. My brother argued that because of MEMORY ISSUES, he HAD to show it to them to “refresh” them. The judge read the document, commented on how manipulative it was, how anybody would obviously answer as intended, and then, unbelievably, THE JUDGE USED THAT SAME MANIPULATIVE DOCUMENT TO QUESTION MY FATHER, VACATE THE PREVIOUS DISMISSAL, and RESTRAIN ME from some very specific things (such as not have total control over their bank accounts), which are not really that big of a deal, practically speaking, but which make me look like a thief, or a wannabe thief.
I had VERY little time to prepare for my Burning At The Stake, and I had VERY little time to try to raise the money to appeal it, and as the attorney who spent quite a while with me going over it, bless him, I almost surely wouldn’t have won because this is How Things Go in these things.
AND my darling brother MJC also filed a complaint with Adult Protective Services, which apparently is still going on. So, now that it’s unlikely I’ll find a decent job in the next few days, and since I am quite behind on rent, my landlords are squawking and stomping for me to leave, even though we are heading into the most desperate and deliberate economic upheaval and national catastrophe EVER, because they’re not getting their rent. I can understand this, except for the blind, capitalist, unnecessary greediness of it— they don’t even spend from that account much at all, after I’ve paid into it some $60K over time… I know it’s How Things Work, and I think they’re clueless, the landlords… about what’s going on and what’s coming, just like many, many other people in Murka… Both my brothers fit into that too-large group… On the leash!
But you know, even the darkest night has a dawn. I’m not going to RESIST the evil, I’m going to WORK AROUND IT. Because I now have a very handy dandy TOOL, namely, that I now have the means to make a demand that MJC get the hell out of my parents’ house, and get his own place, which he has said he wants anyway. This demand could create the anger that I wonder might lead to violence. But that’s a chance I have to take, because I can’t wait around anymore, and I feel that what I’m being called to do here is not to just give up and get rid of all my stuff (I still want to get rid of a lot of it, anyway) and bugger off to some other state, I’m being called to do the right thing, which is to take care of my folks. And HE is the turd in the punchbowl. Ewww.
Because when MJC says to my almost 88-year-old mother with bad arthritis in her knees as she is slowly climbing the stairs and he is waiting to come down them, “Could you hurry up? I don’t have all day,” when my mother is depressed and needs to have help caring for my father, and needs to have some FUN in her life (they both do, they’re bored shitless), and tells me she wants to “go ahead and die,” when my father isn’t getting any exercise, nor enough water in his system, nor the intellectual stimulation he craves (my dad is a genius and a little dementia doesn’t just shut that down!), when my other brother (JFC, who thinks he’s some kind of wonderful Christian, ugh), says, when asked if HE would like to move here and help his parents says quite clearly, “I’M not doing that!” And then he tells ME that all I did in my job of six years (and more than that, if you go waaaay back) as a caregiver was to “sit around in peoples’ houses.” My brothers’ cluelessness reminds me strongly of the cluelessness of these damn Globalist fucktards…
When my parents’ house is dirty, and they’re going to Wendy’s frequently because my mother is too tired to cook or to get groceries, when the bills and the business is being leeched out from me, and I’ve been doing their business dealings, WITH them, for years now, and the person who is least capable of handling that sort of thing wants to push me out, when they have a hard time carrying their dirty or clean laundry up/down stairs because they need one hand on the railing… And SO ON…
No. NO.
These fuckers don’t get to do this to me, because really, it’s doing even worse harm to my parents. I’m not going to allow my folks to be neglected and depressed and slowly wasting away because greedy, entitled boys don’t want their inheritance spent down— This is MY PARENTS’ MONEY, earned by them, over their lifetimes, so that they could have a decent End of Times. DAMMIT, it’s not anybody’s inheritance until they’re DEAD. And they’re NOT DEAD YET. Whatever problems we’ve ever had, my mom and I, whatever shit my brothers pull on me, it all melts away to nothing, I will NOT leave two vulnerable old folks in their most needful time, not to these two selfish assholes. When my GRANDMOTHER passed, long years ago, and my mother inherited some money, and she wanted to travel with it, and buy things for herself, MY BROTHERS, MJC in particular, were outraged that she wasn’t giving some to them… Oh yeah, things do come into focus when they repeat…
I KNOW how to take care of elder folks, I WANT to take care of my Peeps, this is about compassion, and love, not GREED, like some people seem to be caught up in. So, you Readers are my witnesses. I am working hard NOT to hate these brothers of mine, and someday I will forgive them, probably, but I will not forget. The Light is ON, if I just look for it. And I DO reserve the right to call my brothers out, and to use profanity on them, I feel entirely justified, after what they’ve done to me…
The stink fish, cat-litter-eaters, donkey butts, pecker heads, slime sucking, gmo-sucking, sheep-shit-eating fux! Now, that’s all the time they’re worth.
Witnessed!
Questions:
•can the house be arranged so there is no stair climbing?
•who are you concerned about being violent?
•do you feel better when you get angry with the b's or worse? (no judgement, I always feel much worse when I let it fly)
I hope you can get the one b out of the house soon.
What can I do?
Your persistence is admirable 💛
You are dealing with what feels like an impossible quandary. And in many ways, for now, it is.
I’d opt for the direction of loving release.
I know you are worried about your parents, and with good reason. But they are too old to deal with the stress of you three at war.
I’d stay clear, and hope that someone could get social services involved, maybe, so that they could evaluate your brother’s obvious inability to care for your parents.
In the meantime I suggest you focus your energy toward personal positive activities and plans for your future. Your parents’ future at this point does not appear to be a healthy focus for you or for them, as much as they clearly need you, since for now the approach is heavily cloaked in sibling vindication and anger. And especially now that the law has intervened. They are unforgiving, and rule with iron.
I’m sorry if I’ve offended you.
You are dear to me, my friend. ❤️
I resonate with your frustration, your absolutely legitimate fear for your parents, and your pain.
It seems to be time, for now, for you to primarily focus with love on you, talented you, and your own future ..